i am special

i was the “special music” at church last sunday night. i was signed up without being asked, but kinda just let it slide. it’s been a long time since i’ve sung a “special” at church. i don’t like to do it, really. i’d rather be the musician in the back. i’ve played piano a couple of times, but that’s it.

at first, i was just going to play a little diddy on the piano and not sing like i have done before, but for some reason decided to sing and play the acoustic guitar right before going to church. as soon as i started singing, i began to just sort of let my self go and i lost myself in the words and the worship. it was the first time i’ve really completely let go of everything around me–the performance, the people, me actually playing the instrument–and just focused on the actual worship itself. as a musician, i usually tend to keep a little focus on making sure i sound okay, but this time i just closed my eyes and it was almost like i wasn’t even playing. i remember singing and playing, but then i don’t. i can’t explain that. it was one of the greatest worship experiences i’ve ever had and it would’ve never happened if i would’ve backed out like i initially wanted to do when i found out i was signed up.


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