Cross your eyes. Do it. Now.

Man, it’s stinkin’ hard to stay up all night. I’m on nights at work this week. I have to sleep all day later today so that I can survive at work tonight. My eyes are crossing I’m so tired. I will usually go to bed around 4:30am, but I’m not sure I can make it another 2.5 hours.

I tried reading earlier to pass the time, but that makes me even more sleepy trying to focus on tiny words. I was seriously reading with one eye while trying to keep the other one open and stop it from crossing. If I looked like that all the time when I read, people would think I had serious problems. I can imagine a packed waiting room and the surprised looks I would get. And the mothers telling their children to stay away from the crazy-eyed man who was staring strangely at the pages in a book.

Sometimes I eat toaster pastries in the dark.

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