A few posts back I mentioned I was going back to college and had started my first class. I did pass the class. Hooray!
*stops celebrating violently*
It ended there. Never took another class. The money was not there and it did not ever come. So I guess God shut the very door that I thought He was opening. I’m disappointed, to be sure, but not so much. I mean, who am I kidding anyway? After work I don’t even feel like walking, which is a very simple task that requires little to no active thought, mind you. So how did I think I would have the wherewithal to apply my mind to study every evening? I must be crazy, right? To want to volunteer what’s left of my mind every day after work to the task of trying to learn something and improve myself in some fashion . . . crazy, indeed.
So I’ve moved on. Not physically. I’m still here. Rather, mentally. I will no longer give my mind over to the lifelong desire to finish a college degree. I’ve tried to return twice now. Apparently, it ain’t gonna happen. I take it that God has said “No” to that one.
O God, in you I place my hope. There is nothing in me that I can hope in. I am indeed nothing without you and will always fail if left to my own devices. I need you. I am prone to wander, Lord. I feel it. I am prone to leave the God I love. Here’s my heart, Lord, take and seal it for your courts above.