A few posts back I mentioned I was going back to college and had started my first class. I did pass the class. Hooray!
*stops celebrating violently*
It ended there. Never took another class. The money was not there and it did not ever come. So I guess God shut the very door that I thought He was opening. I’m disappointed, to be sure, but not so much. I mean, who am I kidding anyway? After work I don’t even feel like walking, which is a very simple task that requires little to no active thought, mind you. So how did I think I would have the wherewithal to apply my mind to study every evening? I must be crazy, right? To want to volunteer what’s left of my mind every day after work to the task of trying to learn something and improve myself in some fashion . . . crazy, indeed.
So I’ve moved on. Not physically. I’m still here. Rather, mentally. I will no longer give my mind over to the lifelong desire to finish a college degree. I’ve tried to return twice now. Apparently, it ain’t gonna happen. I take it that God has said “No” to that one.
O God, in you I place my hope. There is nothing in me that I can hope in. I am indeed nothing without you and will always fail if left to my own devices. I need you. I am prone to wander, Lord. I feel it. I am prone to leave the God I love. Here’s my heart, Lord, take and seal it for your courts above.
The last time I went to school was in the Spring of 2000 at Nicholls State University in Thibodaux, LA (I started in the Fall of 1997). I decided at that time that I would take a semester off just to take a break. I had, after all, been going to school for 16 years without a break. I ended up getting sick with ulcerative colitis and had to have several abdominal surgeries. I never went back to school.
Fast forward almost 12 years and I’m married, age 33, with a daughter. My desire has always been to finish college. I’ve given it loads of thought over the years, but would talk myself out of it thinking, “I’m too old now and besides, there is no way to afford it.”
One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Proverbs 16:9 – “The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” So, as I was thinking about my life and this verse one day and all the places God has directed me I decided to pray and see if God would somehow open the door for me to attend somewhere, but it would have to be 100% online since I work close to 50 hours a week 30 minutes away and He would have to provide 100% of the funds. I decided to “plan” on going to college and see where God’s direction would take me.
Long story short, I began to take it one step at a time and prayed for God’s direction at each step (and for funds!). I requested info from a few schools and ended up with one that had a program that matched the desires God had put in me. I applied and was accepted by the grace of God.
I began my first class today. It’s a required intro class for the school and it is worth zero credits and costs zero dollars, but hey, it’s a class and I’m stoked! I’ll keep praying and saving and when the money is there I’ll take another class and just keep going until I’m finished.
I’m so thankful and humbled that God would give me this opportunity. It is only by His grace that I am able to accomplish or achieve anything that I do in life. To Him and Him alone be the glory!